Earthlings
divide themselves into different groups based on skin color: black,
white, red, yellow, brown, Jewish and olive. (But really they're just
different shades of brown.) Yellow is the most and olive the least.
Or red. All in all, though, it's a pretty blah rainbow. They could
really use some purples and blues.*
What
color they are depends on where there ancestors are from. But you can
only go back so far for that to be helpful. If you go back too far,
everybody is black. It's just that some of them stopped being black
when they moved away. The norther they went, the lighter they got.
Now
there are some Earthlings who think their own color is the weakest of
anybody's. They think that if somebody has even a little of another
color in them, they are all that other color. Even if they aren't
that color. It's like they see things with weird eyes. They call them
racists. (The Earthlings, not the eyes.) They think if somebody gets
even a couple genes from another race in them, it will overpower all
of their other genes combined and they will become that race. They
don't even want to be around other races in case a gene jumps off
into them. Like genes have zip lines.
Black is
the most potent gene here, as far as intermingling goes. If any
Earthling has even one black gene, that means they are all black. It
could be by envy, though, because 90% of the cool Earthlings are
black. The other genes might pretend to be black so they can be cool,
too. This happens in their music all the time.
The only
race they have that isn't a color is Jewish. I've met a lot of Jewish
Earthlings and they don't seem to come in any color. Maybe that's why
the other Earthlings are so suspicious of them. They could be
anywhere, in anyone's genes and it wouldn't show. The Jews also have
this story about their Lost Tribes. They disappeared a long time ago
and no one knows what happened to them. I think the racists think
they went undercover to infiltrate the other races. Like at any
moment they could jump out of somebody and go,. “ Hah hah! You
thought I was white, but I'm really Jewish! Boogie Boogie Boogie!”
This all
happens because all the humanoids I've ever met think they are
smarter than they are. I mean, it's impossible to really understand
any situation because it is so completely complex. But people think
they're really smart and can figure it all out. They can't, so they
cheat. To get it all in, they just simplify everything.
So they
go, “These people over here? I heard somebody that color robbed a
bank once, so they all must be bank robbers. There. Done and neat.
And one guy of that color had sex with a woman of my color. So every
guy of that color wants to have sex with women of my color. And that
covers that. There's two things I don't have to think about any more.
What's next? Molecules? Easy. Bunch of little solar systems.
Economics? Supply and demand.”
-
Observer003, Earthlings
*Actually,
they can make themselves blue and purple, but they have to
have a bad expression on their face to do it. And are dead. But,
given how poorly they sometimes get along with the races they have,
probably fewer is better.
Addendum
Earthlings
can really blindside with you conversation. That's what always
catches me up. It's never when I have time for it. Like, when I
wandering around bored, nothing. But if I'm out going to a specific
place to do a specific thing, that's when they leap out. A
conversation is like a clear, solid wall that you splat into. Bam!
An
Earthling: “Oh, hi! How are you?”
Me:
“Gaa! Oh. Great! How are you?”
Thing
is, in my mind, I'm still trying to get to that place I was going to
do that thing, but I'm also trying to be nice and not blow this
person off, because I know that's rude, and I like this person,
usually, but I've been putting this thing off and I really need to
get it done because, maybe, the place is about to close, and this
person keeps going on and on about this thing that just happened to
them and now they've moved on to this other tangentially related
thing and I'm trying to hold up my end of the conversation but I
always seem to be ready for it to be over long before they are plus
I'm seeing this thing I was headed toward drifting further away in my
mind so I start trying to contribute to the conversation without
adding anything that might prolong it in any way but still trying to
not come off as rude.
I've
noticed that Earthling conversations come to a definite end and both
sides just know it subconsciously when it arrives. Conversations with
me tend to just peter out.
But, it
took me a long time to figure out that it's in these conversations
that friendships happen, in a weird sub-surface way. I don't know the
mechanics of it. But you have to be able to have them at the drop of
a hat to have friends. They're like ninjas, though. Always when you
least expect them. If I go somewhere prepared for a conversation, key
topics, pithy observations, they never happen. They only happen when
you're trying to do something else. And you have to hold up your end
by having done things, like having bought a house, or had children,
or left your apartment at some point on the weekend. Because
conversations aren't theoretical. You have to have real world
experience. And that's not my strong point.
