Politics is when Earthlings try and
figure out who has had the least sex with the fewest people, as long
as they have had it with at least one, other than themselves or
someone the same sex. The person who lies about this the best gets to
be leader. This is very weird because when I was going through their
educational system, this list of the most electable people would be
the list you most didn't want to be on. You wanted to be on the list
of the nearly least electable people. (The only less electable people
are gays and virgins.) So they tend to elect losers. But not virgins.
Or women, even though women in their educational system wanted to be
on the most electable list.
Sometimes they get it wrong. This is
called a scandal, which is when male politicians who unsuccessfully
have private lives have to quit and write a book and go on talk
shows. Female ones have to - I don't know. There are so few of them
that I haven't seen one have have a scandal yet.
* * * * *
Talk shows are things where Earthlings
talk about how they are so ashamed of something they did that they
can't even talk about it. Except with people they don't know so the
people they don't know feel good because at least their lives aren't
as crappy as this person's. And in between, they sell you soap.
Earthlings need refreshing a lot, based on their soaps. And
invigorating. And the smell of soap really does this for them! I
mean, I've tried smelling soap and it really does nothing for me. But
something about Earthling physiology is really zoomed up by smelly
soap.
* * * * *
Politicians can wipe away a scandal by
being “born again”. Which is strange, because wiping away a
scandal by coming out of a woman again would seem the least likely
way to erase all the trouble they got into by going into women to
begin with. I guess the idea is that if you convince a woman to let a
full grown you climb all the way up inside her and then back out
again you must be pretty contrite. They never mention who the woman
is that let them do this. I guess because no woman would want the
whole world to know how blown out her vagina must be now.
