Medical Practices - Basic First Aid

They put meat on their eyes when they get punched in them. At first I thought that it was maybe because of the cold, but there's other cold things they could put on them. Fruit. Left over spaghetti. Cheeses. Pudding. (All only if they're kept in the refrigerator prior to use. Warm, they are worse than useless.) There's plenty of leftovers they're going to throw away anyway. Why waste a steak? That's good money they're throwing away.

Steak might mold nicely to a face. And it's almost like face, only from a cow, but not from a cow's face. It's like they're saying, "See? This is meat not punched in. Be like that. I'll put it up close so you can see."

This treatment if very site specific. If they get punched in their wiener, for instance, they do not put any meat on it. Neither ice. They just put their hands on it, then try to wrap their entire body around it. There are lots of moving picture depictions of this I can send you. I think it's a Tantric healing thing as there is also a mantra involved.

Some wounds need to be sucked. (Strangely, these are not the ones they call "sucking wounds.") For instance, if they hit their finger with a hammer, they suck it. If they get stabbed, they don't suck it. Small cuts - suck. Big ones - no.

Observer003 - Earthlings

Death, The Inevitable

Here's something I just found out: When they die? They poop their pants. Seriously. They poop their pants! What the hell? I mean, can you imagine it? Don't. Just don't. I did. You shouldn't. Then, for some reason, I imagined it really slow.

Luckily, I didn't find this out the hard way.Imagine if you were under somebody when they died?

And while I'm thinking of it, I am not dieing here. I mean it. You are taking me back before I die. And I am never, ever going to be around when one of them dies.

Poop their pants. For christ's sake. Really? What kind of last memory is that to leave?

"Well, I'm out of here."

SFX: BLAAAHHRG!

Holy cow! Thanks a lot!

Maybe it's a way of helping survivors through the grief process. Like, I'm sorry you died. But now that you have, I wanna kill you!

"I'm sorry, Martha my love, but I must leave you. The good lord is calling me to heaven."

"Oh, Henry my sweet. How shall I ever go on?"

"Oh, do not grieve, for before you know it, we shall meet in..."

SFX: BLAAAHHRG!

"Darling? Henry! NOOOOOOO! WHY? Oh, why? Heavenly Father, I besea-"

Sniff.

"Oh my Lord, Henry! Did you just- Henry! Oh my Lord! How could you! This is what you leave me? To clean this up? You bastard!"

They don't just dump the body. They have a funeral. They have an elaborate ceremony to bury it, often in a bed nicer than the person ever slept in while alive. And there are Earthlings whose job it is to do all this. Prep the body and dig the hole and everything.

It's not like, "See this? Dig a hole and put this in it. Poop and all. No sense in cleaning it up. Take these sheets, too. And the mattress. Jeezus, take the whole bed. I'm never going to sleep in it again. Disgusting. Poop. Gawd."

Then every Earthling who ever knew the body, or is related to it, has to get in a line to kneel next to the body and pretend to know what to say in their mind. "Well, yup. It's a dead body. Glad it doesn't smell like poop. Is that long enough? Better kneel another minute."

And they can't go in their street clothes. They have to wear special clothes that are only for deaths and weddings. Female Earthlings always look good in these clothes. Male Earthlings always look uncomfortable. The males have a rule that their wedding or funeral clothes can't fit. They have to be too small, so they look sad and about to cry. The females don't have any problem crying. They can watch or hear a story that they know isn't even true and still cry. It's crazy.

- Observer003 - Earthlings