Africa is where Earthlings became
Earthlings, but after that everything that was ever important to
Earthlings happened somewhere else. Africa has been sitting on its
laurels for thirty thousand years, easy. It is the high school
football star who now works at the convenience store of continents.
It's where Earthlings evolved, and it
had the Egyptians, who weren't too shabby. But lately? Nothing. I
don't think they even created their own writing there (except the
Egyptians).
C'mon Africa. You can do this. Remember
the opposable thumb? That was huge. And nobody did walking
upright and the domestication of fire like you did.
Is it because the Earthlings left you?
Moved on to other continents? Are you feeling used?
Snap out of it. Not all the Earthlings
left you. It's time you thought about the ones who stayed. And look
at what those others have done. War and environmental degradation?
Who needs them.
You think Europe is happy? It looks
like a diseased penis with erectile dysfunction. And if Europe is the
penis, then Asia is the butt. The butt with a vestigial tail. And all
those poopy little islands around it aren't helping. Japan must have
been a big fiber day.
I have no idea what North America is
going for and South America looks like it's trying to look like you.
And failing.
“You mean like this? Is this right?”
No. Sorry South America.
Antarctica? Just look at the picture. I
don't want to repeat myself.
And Australia clearly isn't trying.
It's like a blob land mass fell off the creator's pallet and he
didn't bother to clean it up.
Then there's you. The shape of a demon
skull. The great, horned beast. Feral and feared. Get back on that
horse, Africa. You're time has come again.
- Observer003 -
Earthlings
