A Harbinger of Evolution

Okay - This is really cool. Earthlings are about to evolve. No baloney. I witnessed it myself.

See, They have this holiday were everyone give everyone else presents. All even Steven. The idea is that they all spend as much on each other as they get spent on themselves. That's the whole point. Evenness.

Normally they give each other things, like bikes, books, toys. Could be a car. It doesn't matter, as long as it's not cash. If you give someone cash, it's bad. So they never give cash. A problem comes up when they're trying to make everything come up equal. Sometimes their short, so they have to come up with something quick.

 

Enter the check card. Check cards are pieces of plastic that they say have value. (You would think that would be enough to warn them away.) They will even say right on them that they are better than money. (Warning two: There's nothing better at being money than money.) The kicker is that check cards cost more than they are worth. It even says that right on them! "This blah-dee-blah priced check card only costs blah-dee-blah-dee-blah."

This means that some of them have figured out how stupid they all are. Why would someone spend more for something than it is worth, especially when it says right on it that it isn't worth as much as they are going to pay for it? It says it right on it. But they still buy them.

This is so cool.

It's one thing when a species figures out how smart it is. They start making all kinds of cool things. It's a whole other thing when they figure out how dumb they are. Then they get more humble and stop killing each other.

Obeserver003 - Earthlings

World Religions - Hinduism

The Hindus are different because they have a bunch of gods, some of whom are blue. They even have one with an elephant head, which is really weird because who thought that was a good idea?

"Hey, let's take an elephant head and slap it on a person body and, bam!, we got ourselves a god! That's one more down. How many left?"

The story goes that Ganesha's mom, Parvati, took a bath, collected up the dirt and molded it into Ganesha. (Okay, first off, that's a lot of dirt. If you have that much dirt on you - I've been dirty. I've seen dirty Earthlings - If you have so much dirt on you, you can make a whole other person out of it, you need to be taking way more baths.)

Anyway, Parvati sends Ganesha out to guard the door while she finishes her bath. She wasn't even done! What the heck was she was doing that got her that dirty? That's crazy dirty.

So Ganesha is out guarding the door and Parvati's husband, Shiva, comes home and is like, "Who the heck is this guy?" So he cuts Ganesha's head off. Parvati comes out and is like, "Wah!" So Shiva's like, "Crap!" and grabs an elephant head and slaps it on there. Which makes sense as a stop gap measure. Gotta stop the bleeding. But they leave it there. Jeez mom, take another bath. Wad up another head. Go roll in the mud a little. Would it have killed her?

I don't know. Maybe Ganesha liked the new head. Maybe once you have a prehensile nose, there's no going back to the bump. I don't know. I think I'd stick with it.

Which brings up a whole other thing. Who of these Earthlings, way back ago, thought it was a good idea to evolve away from prehensile tails? Man, I would never have done that. How many times have they been wrapping presents and thought, "Man, if only I had one more hand, just to hold the tape." A prehensile tail would take care of that.

Or, they're carrying groceries in and they drop their keys and they don't want to put anything down because there's snow or it's raining? Bam. Prehensile tail saves the day.

Of all the arguments they have about evolution and intelligent design, I'm not sure where this would fall. If I had a prehensile tail, there would be no way you'd talk me into evolving away from that. I'd take the walking upright and the frontal lobe, sure. But I'd be keeping the tail. And if I had to choose? Tail.

I think a prehensile nose would be better, though.

It maybe falls on the side of intelligent design, but only if the god that made them didn't think of the tails until after he made Earthlings and was working on monkeys.

"Oh man, this is so cool. I wish I'd thought of this for people. Darn it. Oh well."

Pause.

Hey! What if I stuck this on an elephant face? And with big floppy ears. That would be funny! I am so going to do that. Hee-hee!"

Elephants are what happens when a creator god stays up too late.

Observer003 - Earthlings